As you move into midlife and beyond, fears can start taking over your life as you face changes. Fear of never feeling healthy again, fear of change in your life circumstance, fear that you are aging faster than you want to, fear that life is over, fear that you will be alone. I could go on and on. Change happens fast in your late 40s and 50s. It can be overwhelming. Recognizing how fear shows up in your life can help you stop it from holding you back from your healthiest life, your life of your dreams, your life full of love?
I have been going through many changes over the past year physically and mentally. Throughout these changes the main emotion I have been feeling is fear. I didn’t realize it at first, but as I look back, it was fear keeping me stuck.
I had been feeling quite good for a few years after I made health changes to handle my GERD and hormonal issues. I felt like I was eating healthy, moving my body, sleeping better, and taking care of myself. I felt in control.
Then things outside of my control happened. Along with outside events, my body really moved into perimenopause, and I suddenly felt like I was living in another body. What I had been doing wasn’t working anymore.
Here I was, a health coach. I had just finished my second certification. I knew what I needed to do to feel my best. Yet nothing seemed to be working. I was feeling worse. Had less energy. Gas and bloating were back with a vengeance. My weight and waist were increasing. My health was decreasing even as I was doing all the “right things”.
I reverted back to what I knew. Did some cleanses and worked on my diet, allowed my body to rest and worked on sleeping. When that didn’t work, I cut my calories. Yep, I don’t believe in restricted diets, yet I even tried that. Nothing seemed to help. Over the winter, I gained 5 pounds, all around the waist. I was struggling to get out of bed, and I was struggling with my erratic cycles.
I was afraid.
Afraid that all I learned was for nothing. Afraid that I really didn’t know anything. Afraid that I was going to be really sick again. Afraid I was going to gain a lot of weight.
At the same time, I was dealing with my last year of homeschooling. It is what I knew and who I was for the past 16 years. Now what. The future just seemed…out of focus.
I was afraid of what was to come next. What would I do without my kids, homeschool, life as I knew it?
My fear led to procrastination. When I took the time to look at my life I saw the procrastination. I simply knew it was fear that was causing the procrastination because that is how my fear comes out in my life.
8 Ways Fear Shows Up In Your Life?
Most of us don’t recognize fear. Why? Because we don’t always acknowledge our fear, our perceived weakness. But when we fear, it will show up in other ways. Learning to recognize how is shows up in your life, can help you confront fear and meet it head on to get past the fear and worry.
For me, fear showed up as procrastination. I put things off as long as possible. I made excuses to myself. I delayed as long as possible to get things done.
You make sure everything is just right before moving on. Usually, nothing is just right.
- You Say No
You say no to everything. You are paralyzed. You are hiding.
- You Say Yes
You do everything and anything that comes to your plate. You fill your calendar, so you don’t have down time. No downtime…no time to think and feel.
- You Give In To Your Addiction
It doesn’t matter if it is alcohol, reality tv, drugs, sexual promiscuity, food, surfing the net or any other addiction. You allow your vice to use up most of your time, so you don’t have to face your fear.
- Your Get Sick Often
Fear can wreak havoc on your immune system. You get every cold and flu that goes around.
- You Control Everything
You plan out every detail. You can’t handle letting anyone else or anything else be in control of your life.
- You Settle
You let go of your goals and dreams. You believe that you can’t get healthier or thinner so you just accept it. You believe your life will always be “meh”. You just exist.
Steps to Stop Worrying When Fear Shows Up?
- Remember no one is fearless. We all feel fear. Fear is a natural and beautiful emotion. It can protect us from doing things to hurt ourselves. However, living in anxiety is not a good thing. Avoiding your fears and not dealing with them, will keep you stuck.
- Pray. Give your fears to God. Allow Him to be in control. Seek His will for you. When you live your life for God, the rest comes into perspective. It takes time, but fear lessens when you realize how big your God is.
- Let the pressure go. Don’t pressure yourself to get past the worry. Let yourself feel it and embrace it. Know that it is trying to teach you something.
- Take one step. Just a baby step. Whatever you are fearing, move in its direction. Celebrate that step and realize your world didn’t end. Change is hard. Be good to yourself.
- Share your fears with someone you trust. Be vulnerable. Sharing allows the fears to come into the light. When you have companionship to get through your fears, they just don’t seem as big once you can give voice to what it is you fear.
- Changes do happen faster than we can handle sometimes as we hit midlife. Change can be good, but it can be scary. Don’t let fear stop you. Recognize how fear shows up in your life and then face your fears. Recognize life and your health may not be the same, but that doesn’t mean it has to be bad.
Tell me in the comments how does fear normally show up for you?
Note: Everything I learned was not for nothing. I just had to start listening to my body. Now that I have recognized my fears, I am tackling them. I still have health issues and mentally am not as strong as I was, but that is ok. Life is getting brighter as I try new things.